The Waiting Room: Emotions

I had every intention of writing my final predictions for the upcoming 18 hours of Twin Peaks. I had every intention of dissecting last week’s teaser, frame by frame and going into theory-world. I had every intention of discussing that highly interesting Variety article that came out last week that was more telling than really anything about the new material. Then, I saw Showtime’s 3 part promotional videos. Where they groundbreaking? No. Did they even tell me anything I didn’t already know? Not at all. So what was it about those 3, 5 minutes each videos that completely changed the course of the final edition of “The Waiting Room” before new Twin Peaks? They made me incredibly emotional, that’s what.

Showtime’s three promotional videos covered the show’s legacy, return and the amazing fan base that if you’re reading this—you’re a part of. I can’t logically tell you what it was about those videos that got me but they pulled me in hook, line and sinker. Over the next few hours, I ran the gauntlet of memories and emotions. I remembered being five years old seeing the commercials that aired prior to the pilot. “It’s a nice place to live but you wouldn’t want to die there”. Scared me half to death. I remembered insisting on watching the pilot with my mom and thinking “that wasn’t so scary”. I remember my Dad swearing up and down that Josie was the one who killed Laura Palmer, and when the killer was revealed, my parents like so many others quit watching. Not me.

Now six years old (let’s think about this for a minute—six years old, watching Twin Peaks every week, alone) I remember like it was yesterday my mom calling for me to come in from playing with the neighborhood kids because the final 2 hours of the second season was about to come on. The story doesn’t end well. I also vividly remember being scared out of my mind during the final act of what we thought for nearly three decades now was the series finale of Twin Peaks. When the credits rolled, I ran upstairs. I pretended not to be afraid. In the weeks to come, my mother figured out why I was insisting on lights being on and why I didn’t want to go to bed. Bob and TLMPFAP were all I could see when I closed my eyes. It didn’t get any better. Trailers for Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me began popping up. The nightmares continued. My mom and new stepdad recorded the film on a VHS tape when it aired on a movie channel and the site of that tape scared me. Blockbuster Video had a film poster in its window and I once spent a whole dinner at Pizza Hut staring out the window, across the parking lot at the poster. The image of Laura Palmer pulled me in. My fear, my obsession, my intrigue. It was a lot for my young mind. In the spirit of honesty, I wet the bed that night, afraid that if I got up to pee, Bob was going to grab me. Embarrassing, yes. The truth? Absolutely. My dad and stepmom instead of scolding me, talked to me. They offered to answer any questions I had about the film or to watch it with me. They told me they would help me overcome my fear if I wanted. I wasn’t ready.

Twelve years later, the show still had an impact on me. My fear had eased up quite a bit after talking about it but I never forgot about it. My senior year of high school, I was in a video store and stumbled upon Fire Walk With Me. I read the description on the back of the case more times than I care to remember. I remembered all the names and faces. I remembered Laura and who had killed her. That had never left. I walked up to the counter and rented the film. I had to. I needed to see it. I had to walk through that door…and what a door it was. I fell in love. Yeah, it was scary but I was 18 and not 6. My mind was full of thoughts and wonder. What did so many things mean? I had to have more. The following weekend a group of friends and I binged the entire series in one weekend, renting the entire collection of VHS tapes. The first re-watch complete. So many questions remained.

How do I find answers…the internet! Keep in mind friends, this was many years ago and while today Twin Peaks sites and forums are plentiful, that was not the case in years past. There were a few sites though and I read every word of every article over and over. I read theories about Major Briggs, theories about the Lodges, theories about Annie…until I ran out of theories to read. I needed new people to talk to, so we could form our own theories! Second Twin Peaks rewatch in a weekend, with a whole new group of friends was soon completed. A cycle was created and a fanatic was born.

Back to present day. Why did I get so emotional watching those promotional videos? Was it because Twin Peaks has been a part of my life for nearly three decades? Was it living through all of rumors about the show returning to various networks, in comic form or even the once rumored short films about Agent Cooper? Was it because the story of Twin Peaks has lived on even though Lynch himself tried to tell us once that it was “dead as a doornail”? Its all of those things and more. I couldn’t be more excited that the show is coming back and that it is happening in this day and age where I can interact with people just like myself from all over the world.

As anyone reading this knows, Twin Peaks and the work of David Lynch as a whole has a profound impact on a lot of us. It gets us to look at details differently. It gets us to open our minds, see things from a different perspective. It dares us to dream. We get to do that again, together. Today it hit me hard that this is really happening after all those years of wishing it could. Starting this site and writing with people who feel just like I do during this exciting time is the icing on the cake. There’s no more waiting for a new roadblock to stop the show from airing. This is really happening, in less than a week. Logically I’ve understood this, but today I got with that emotionally and it rocked me to the core. We’re going back to a place both wonderful and strange.

Starting next week, this column will be dedicated to talking about what we see on our televisions. Thanks for reading this long-winded, emotional look back at my history with the show and film. I’ll see you in the trees…

(Author’s note: I didn’t re-read this before posting. This was an emotional purge and any imperfections in it are meant to be.)

Written by Andrew Grevas

Andrew is the Founder / Editor in Chief of 25YL. He’s engaged with 2 sons, a staunch defender of the series finales for both Lost & The Sopranos and watched Twin Peaks at the age of 5 during its original run, which explains a lot about his personality.

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