Tipple Throwdown

“Black Lodge/White Lodge” is the 25 Years Later version of the popular point/counterpoint style of debating, wherein two sides take opposing views and hash it out on stage. Here, we’ll be debating the finer points of Twin Peaks lore, in writing, for your reading pleasure.

Today’s debaters: J.C. Hotchkiss and Eileen G Mykkels.

This week’s totally fun topic is: Who would you rather have a drink with — Deputy Tommy “Hawk” Hill or Margaret “The Log Lady” Lanterman?


Black Lodge: by Eileen G Mykkels

We sit together on his front porch. The open air is fresh and clean and the sound of gentle wind in the trees is soothing to both of us. Our drink of choice is beer tonight. It’s the last warm days before fall. Work is over and a collective sigh has been breathed by the 9-5 working stiffs, ourselves included, at least for today. He leans back in his chair and it’s wooden joints creak.  Hawk looks at me, and I look at him and we nod to one another, nods of understanding, and of empathy. No words are necessary.

My look says my kids gave me hell today, but at least we got through the lesson. His answering look says, I see you and I understand you. He nods before the look alters. My day was not the easiest either. Another drug charge for a high school student. I return this third nod with a forth. I hope tomorrow is better, my nod implies. One final nod, in perfect synchronicity and we are agreeing that yes, perhaps tomorrow will be better.

Six nods, two drinks the trees and the breeze.

And then maybe, we harmonize a little. Tonight he whistles. Sometimes he sings seventies rock, others a traditional Nez Perce tune.

giphyTo me, Hawk is the perfect person to have a drink with after work. All day, on my feet surrounded by people – mostly teens – talking and chattering and by the end, my battery is all worn down. Hawk, with his generally calm, blow-by-blow, each-thing-in-its-own-time nature is exactly what I need at the end of a long day. Anyone who is in the least introverted knows that quiet responsiveness, and mutual peace at the end of a busy day is the ultimate revitalization of the soul. The line up may include disgruntled coworkers, customers, students, or prisoners, and yet, through it all, Hawk’s sense of inner peace radiates.

And if the peace isn’t enough on some days, Hawk’s a wonderful listener, patient and good with advice. An unbiased observer of the world, he can remind a person easily, without their feeling criticized, to slow down and think rationally. If his job gets him down, it takes only a reminders of all the good he’s doing each day, and how necessary he is to the daily functioning of the people in town. Especially in this day and age we need lawmen like Hawk who place importance on the factor of human life all around.

On good days, maybe our harmonizing drifts into storytelling. Hawk has the best stories and the insight to tell them with a unique spin. He knows what’s happening in town, because it’s his job to know, but he won’t be a gossip. You’ll get the facts if you sit down with him, and maybe a few laughs thrown in there too, but never at anyone’s expense. And all the things he’s known and seen, what a fabulous information on the town, to history, to life in general. His philosophy might be quiet and unassuming, but his deep regard for life makes him one of the single most insightful people that you’ve ever met. Honest and forthright, thoughtful but not afraid to have a little fun.

Maybe, some nights, like a Friday and everyone is all riled up to have some fun, we head down to a bar where there’s a pool table and he talks football scores and I’m catching bits of the baseball game while we tag team a few drifters with our amateur billiards knowledge. Harry Truman is the one who really knows how to play, but we’re just there to have a good time. We may get bested at pool but no one beats Hawk at darts – everyone in the place knows to keep out of his way when there’s a bulls-eye left to get in the lineup.

A fight breaks out, and Hawk’s our guy, pulling on man away while the barkeep manhandles the other. A Bookhouse Boy is above all honest, loyal and fair (they’re no boy scouts, though) and Hawk makes certain that each man there knows they’d better calm down or they’re going to be dealt with accordingly.

When this question was first posed to me, Hawk was truly the obvious answer. In my lifehawk situation, I can hardly think of a better after-work drink companion. While I love Margaret Lanterman as much as the next person, I would definitely not begrudge her her well prepared tea (my drink of choice on any given day) I know that after a long day teaching, it would be Hawk’s peaceful demeanor which I would prefer to surround myself with. Maybe, when I need an existentialism or some inner life insight, I might drop by Margaret’s quiet cabin but nothing could compare to the gentle and understanding nature that Hawk, to me at least, exudes.


White Lodge: by J.C. Hotchkiss

It has been a long day.  Your boss just gave you ten more things to add to your ‘Things to do’ list and you still have to stop at the grocery store to pick up something for supper.  You think to yourself, “Man, I need a drink!”  So you call up your ol’ pal Margaret ‘The Log Lady’ Lanterman and decided to meet for a drink.  Yes, you heard me correctly.  If I had a choice between Hawk and the Log Lady, I’m going with my gal, Margaret.

Log LadyBesides the obvious…you ask, “J.C.?  Is there an obvious?”  Yes, my wonderful 25yearslater site readers, there is an obvious reason; Margaret is in tune to everything around her.  She is one with the sycamores.  She listens to wind.  Her log gives her messages that are of the upmost importance (as we’ve seen in Season 3).  So I feel that Margaret would give you loads of intuitive and thought inducing conversation, so much so that you would soon forget what was bothering you and ask more of her and her log.  Some of her most known quotes have helped me immensely on a daily basis.  The one quote that always comes to mind when thinking of Margaret and why I would choose to drink with her albeit probably a very nice cup of tea and not a shot and beer like Hawk is, “I carry a log – yes. Is it funny to you? It is not to me. Behind all things are reasons. Reasons can even explain the absurd. Do we have the time to learn the reasons behind the human being’s varied behavior? I think not. Some take the time. Are they called detectives? Watch – and see what life teaches.”

Another reason I feel that I’d want to drink with Margaret is that she seems like the type of person who will listen to you go on, and on, and on about the drudges of your day.  She does not seem the type to interject her opinion at your every sigh or judge you for your glaring impatience when you tell her you rolled your eyes at the barista at Starbucks while he was making your PSL, ‘They dread this time of year because they make like a zillion of them.  I need my caffeine and my fallness pronto. What doesn’t he understand about this?’  She may give you advice, well as long as you are willing to take that advice from the Log.  She may also be able to warn you about that guy you met down at the bar last weekend and whether he is a Lodgian being or not.

While there are many people from the world of Twin Peaks I would absolutely love toLog Lady 2 have a drink with (I’m looking at you Special Agent Dale Cooper and Sheriff Harry Truman), I really cannot think of a better person than our own lovely Log Lady.  I would absolutely adore having a drink with Hawk as well, so this was a really difficult BLWL argument, but Margaret would keep things interesting and I feel she would really listen to what I had to say, and in turn give some great and thoughtful advice.  Plus, she can tell a good joke. “Sometimes jokes are welcome. Like the one about the kid who said: ‘I enjoyed school. It was just the principal of the thing.”(Intro to Episode 18, Bravo, 1993)


Do you have a topic for Black Lodge/White Lodge? Do you want to write it? We want YOU! Send an email to Lindsay and let us know your ideas and you could be featured in an upcoming Black Lodge/White Lodge debate!

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