Friend of the site Amber Welsh recently Tweeted about an idea she had for what Donna’s secret diary might look like. I thought the idea was pretty funny so I asked Amber to write something up! This is something different for the site but hopefully you find it to be as fun as I do! – Andrew
February 17, 1989
Walked to school with Laura today, we were stopped by Mike and Bobby. Gosh, Mike is such a dream, Diary! Laura was a little jumpy but it’s probably just the pressure of being an all American teenage Prom Queen. Anyway, the bell is about to ring, I will write more later!
Laura got into the strangest argument with Bobby today (what else is new?). He was freaking out wondering why he couldn’t find her after gym class and then he just took off, walking backward into the school. That guy has some real issues, it’s no wonder Laura has been seeing James. Diary, can you imagine what Bobby would do if he ever found out?!
After school Laura decided to come to my house, we sat around discussing the mechanics of space. L seemed to have some pretty concrete opinions on the whole “falling through space” situation. I didn’t agree with her but decided not to argue, seriously, she was way into it. On a side note, I don’t think that Mike is as cool as James (James is SO cool) but I should probably go all of the way with him anyway.
February 18, 1989
Such a weird morning, Diary! Laura showed up at my house, out of nowhere, just screaming at me and asking if we were friends. There is just something not quite right with her, can’t quite put my finger on it! Anyway, I asked my dad to write her a prescription for angels and that really seemed to cheer her up. She left on a good note as we both decided that she was, in fact, “The Muffin”.
You know, Diary, I just cannot shake the feeling that there is something going on with Laura. I think I will go and check on her. I will update you when I get home.
February 22, 1989
Sorry I didn’t get back to you last night but things got a little out of hand. After checking on Laura I decided to follow her out. She was all dressed up and wouldn’t let me go with her, something about “the nighttime is my time”. I just had this nagging feeling so I followed her to The Roadhouse and met up with two of her guy friends. These guys must have been from out of town because I had never seen them before. Anyway, after a slightly awkward meeting we decided to go to Canada. We got to some crazy bar, it was SO loud in there I could barely hear anything. I must have had too much to drink because before I knew it everything had gone RED and FUZZY, I have no idea how I got home. I do remember some crazy dreams, Diary, I am talking loud music, strobing red lights and topless dancing. This morning Laura assured me that everything was fine, aside from a strange warning about not wanting me to turn into her. I swear, she is so dramatic sometimes. Why wouldn’t she want me to be an adored member of the community? Oh, and Leland was acting so strange, he dragged L out of the house before I could even tell her all about my strange dream. It was just a dream, right Diary?
I wonder if I should just ask Laura if she is okay? No. That would just be too weird.
February 23, 1989
I haven’t heard from Laura all day. She is probably with James somewhere, hoping Bobby doesn’t find out. Maybe I will call Mike, I haven’t talked to him since the “Canada incident”. That’s not weird, right? I’ve been meaning to ask him how he feels about poetry but I am guessing I already know the answer. Why am I dating him again? Oh, that’s right, he is such a dream.
Diary, I just woke up, its nearly midnight and I have a terrible feeling in my stomach. I really hope everything is okay…