Just When You Thought It Was Safe to Get Back in the Awards Show Waters: Thoughts on the 76th Golden Globes

The Hollywood Foreign Press’ Association’s live broadcast of the 76th Annual Golden Globes was held last night at the Beverly Hilton Hotel, thus kicking off awards season for the casual movie and television viewer across the country; this year hosted by comedian Andy Samberg and actress/nominee/winner Sandra Oh. Out of all the snubs, surprises, speeches, and lifetime achievement awards bestowed upon Hollywood from itself throughout the evening, perhaps the biggest surprise to this author was witnessing what felt like the death of comedy itself in the form of Sandra Oh and Andy Samberg’s opening monologue.

Gone were the scathing shots from past hosts like Ricky Gervais, and in their place was quite possibly the worst opening monologue I have ever witnessed at an awards show. Every joke fell absolutely flat and it was downright painful to see such talented people put into a position where they are allegedly supposed to be funny, but apparently the writers of said monologue felt it was far more important to not offend anyone anywhere, unless the sound of a good joke connecting well with any audience is seen as offensive.

The heavy favorites for the evening of course were Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga for their smash hit with audiences and critics alike, A Star is Born, coming in with five nominations. The film’s two leads were even seated right at the front of the stage almost in anticipation that they would be rising from their seats and back again roughly five times during the broadcast. As the night went on and the film was snubbed four out of five times—only winning best song for “Shallow”—the seating arrangement slowly but surely started to seem like someone’s idea of a cruel joke.

No, the big winners of the night, to many’s surprise, were Peter Farrelly’s Green Book and the he-who-shall-not-be-named (mostly) helmed Queen biopic Bohemian Rhapsody. Note to Hollywood: I will personally start taking #timesup more seriously when you stop giving awards to child sexual predators like Voldemort Singer. Yes, I understand he was fired close to the end of production, but it stains a film that I already felt, while entertaining, had multiple problems in the way it presented—or rather chose not to present—a more accurate portrayal of Mercury and Queen. Malek’s performance was indeed phenomenal, I just do not think the film was even the best out of the list of nominees in its field.

As the ceremony progressed with bad jokes, flu shots (don’t ask), and snubs to go around, one of the few bright spots came from Christian Bale. Upon rightfully winning best actor for his portrayal of Dick Cheney in Adam McKay’s dark comedy Vice, he surprisingly gave an acceptance speech that was quite charming. He thanked his wife and the devil himself before actually acknowledging what lucky “buggers” everyone in attendance was in the first place. As of publishing time, there are no reports of crew members being berated for position of lighting during said speech.

The British also provided a good win for A Very English Scandal in a very highly competitive field with Ben Wishaw coming out on top, giving a speech praising the BBC for still producing distinct, idiosyncratic film-making and television. Regina King won best supporting  dramatic actress for If Beale Street Could Talk, but at the end of the day I walked away feeling like the best of almost every category left empty-handed.

From The Kominsky Method winning best comedy and best actor, beating out both the show and performances from Barry and Atlanta, to Glenn Close, who I learned from the show did indeed star in a film this past year, beating out Nicole Kidman (Destroyer),  and Lady Gaga for best actress, it almost seemed the Golden Globes were trolling me this time out. I am happy to report that Patricia Clarkson won for her pitch perfect quietly terrifying performance in Sharp Objects—quite easily the best thing I saw on television in 2018. Also, it’s always good to see the likes of Olivia Colman for The Favourite and the direction of Alfonso Cuarón twice over for Roma.

The most moving part of the show was actually a lovely tribute to Carol Burnett, who just edged out Antonio Banderas for the first ever Carol Burnett Lifetime Achievement Award. This year’s Cecil B. DeMille Award went to Jeff Bridges, who gave a speech that one can only describe as Dudesque.

Jeff Bridges accepting the Cecil B. DeMille Award at 2019 Golden Globes
76th ANNUAL GOLDEN GLOBE AWARDS — Pictured: Jeff Bridges, winner of Cecil B. Demille Award at the 76th Annual Golden Globe Awards held at the Beverly Hilton Hotel on January 6, 2019 — (Photo by: Paul Drinkwater/NBC)

But in an award show that is known for playing it safe, this year it just seemed like they were playing a game of milquetoast Russian Roulette, at least in regards of who was deserving of their Globes. Final thoughts? If the offer from Sandra Oh and Andy Samberg that one lucky guest among last night’s attendees will indeed be chosen to host this year’s fast approaching Oscars ceremony, then can we please give that task to Sam Rockwell and Allison Janney, two of the only presenters whose chemistry crushed their all too short time together.

The Results in Full:

Best actor in a TV series – musical or comedy
Sacha Baron Cohen – Who Is America?
Jim Carrey – Kidding
WINNER: Michael Douglas – The Kominsky Method
Donald Glover – Atlanta
Bill Hader – Barry

Best animated feature film
Incredibles 2
Isle of Dogs
Ralph Breaks the Internet
WINNER: Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse

Best actor in a TV series – drama

Jason Bateman – Ozark
Stephan James – Homecoming
Billy Porter – Pose
WINNER: Richard Madden – Bodyguard
Matthew Rhys – The Americans

WINNER: The Americans
Killing Eve

Alan Arkin – The Kominsky Method
Kieran Culkin – Succession
Edgar Ramirez – The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story
WINNER: Ben Whishaw – A Very English Scandal
Henry Winkler – Barry

Best actress in a limited series or TV movie

Amy Adams – Sharp Objects
WINNER: Patricia Arquette – Escape at Dannemora
Connie Britton – Dirty John
Laura Dern – The Tale
Regina King – Seven Seconds

Best score

Marco Beltrami – A Quiet Place
Alexandre Desplat – Isle of Dogs
Ludwig Göransson – Black Panther
WINNER: Justin Hurwitz – First Man
Marc Shaiman – Mary Poppins Returns

Best song

All the Stars – Black Panther
Girl in the Movies – Dumplin’
Requiem for a Private War – A Private War
Revelation – Boy Erased
WINNER: Shallow – A Star Is Born

Best supporting actress

Amy Adams – Vice
Claire Foy – First Man
WINNER: Regina King – If Beale Street Could Talk
Emma Stone – The Favourite
Rachel Weisz – The Favourite

Best actress in a TV series – drama

Caitriona Balfe – Outlander
Elisabeth Moss – The Handmaid’s Tale
WINNER: Sandra Oh – Killing Eve
Julia Roberts – Homecoming
Keri Russell – The Americans

Best supporting actor

WINNER: Mahershala Ali – Green Book
Timothée Chalamet – Beautiful Boy
Adam Driver – BlacKkKlansman
Richard E Grant – Can You Ever Forgive Me?
Sam Rockwell – Vice

Best screenplay

Alfonso Cuarón – Roma
Deborah Davis, Tony McNamara – The Favourite
Barry Jenkins – If Beale Street Could Talk
Adam McKay – Vice
WINNER: Nick Vallelonga, Brian Currie, Peter Farrelly – Green Book

Best supporting actress in a limited series or TV movie

Alex Bornstein – The Marvelous Mrs Maisel
WINNER: Patricia Clarkson – Sharp Objects
Penelope Cruz – The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story
Thandie Newton – Westworld
Yvonne Strahovski – The Handmaid’s Tale

Best actor – musical or comedy

WINNER: Christian Bale – Vice
Lin-Manuel Miranda – Mary Poppins Returns
Viggo Mortensen – Green Book
Robert Redford – The Old Man & the Gun
John C Reilly – Stan & Ollie

Best foreign language film

Never Look Away

Best actor in a limited series or TV movie

Antonio Banderas – Genius: Picasso
Daniel Bruhl – The Alienist
WINNER: Darren Criss – The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story
Benedict Cumberbatch – Patrick Melrose
Hugh Grant – A Very English Scandal

Best director

Bradley Cooper – A Star Is Born
WINNER: Alfonso Cuarón – Roma
Peter Farrelly – Green Book
Spike Lee – BlacKkKlansman
Adam McKay – Vice

Best actress in a TV series – musical or comedy

Kristen Bell – The Good Place
Candice Bergen – Murphy Brown
Alison Brie – Glow
WINNER: Rachel Brosnahan – The Marvelous Mrs Maisel
Debra Messing – Will and Grace

Best TV series – musical or comedy

The Good Place
WINNER: The Kominsky Method
The Marvelous Mrs Maisel

Best limited series or TV movie

The Alienist
WINNER: The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story
Escape at Dannemora
Sharp Objects
A Very English Scandal

Best actress – musical or comedy

Emily Blunt – Mary Poppins Returns
WINNER: Olivia Colman – The Favourite
Elsie Fisher – Eighth Grade
Charlize Theron – Tully
Constance Wu – Crazy Rich Asians

Best film – musical or comedy

Crazy Rich Asians
The Favourite
WINNER: Green Book
Mary Poppins Returns

Best actress – drama

WINNER: Glenn Close – The Wife
Lady Gaga – A Star Is Born
Nicole Kidman – Destroyer
Melissa McCarthy – Can You Ever Forgive Me?
Rosamund Pike – A Private War

Best actor – drama

Bradley Cooper – A Star Is Born
Willem Dafoe – At Eternity’s Gate
Lucas Hedges – Boy Erased
WINNER: Rami Malek – Bohemian Rhapsody
John David Washington – BlacKkKlansman

Best film – drama

Black Panther
WINNER: Bohemian Rhapsody
If Beale Street Could Talk
A Star Is Born

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Written by steve wandling

Former staff member

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