Brendan Jesus
Based on a poem by Ed Justin, Pumpkinhead reared its bulbous dome into the hearts of horror fans in the late ‘80s. With Lance Henricksen and Stan Winston attached, audiences knew they were in good hands. Pumpkinhead would not end up like most ‘80s films and seemingly disappeared from the horror zeitgeist awfully fast. A ‘sequel’ wouldn’t appear for more than 5 years after the original, not only that but sloppy writing and a near-complete divergence from the original film would make this franchise dead in the water for 12 years. It wouldn’t be until 2005 that Sci-Fi Films, in their heyday of wonderfully bad Sci-Fi Originals, decided to bring Pumpkinhead back to the residents of Ferren Woods. Following their predecessors’ footsteps, the second film in the Pumpkinhead resurgence would, again, kill the franchise dead in its tracks.
I decided to embark on a noble quest to try and figure out why this franchise never found its proper footing. Pumpkinhead itself is a beautifully grotesque creature and should be rife for a modern resurgence. But why isn’t it? Two years ago the news was released that Paramount Players would be rebooting the franchise. It was stated the script was complete and production had begun. To date, there has been no update on it. Is Pumpkinhead a franchise doomed to fade into obscurity? Let’s take a look at the franchise and rank these films so we can figure out what the hell is going on in Ferren Woods, what’s actually canon, and can Ed Harley’s (Lance Henricksen) spirit ever rest?
(Also please don’t hate me for these rankings, I have a feeling it’ll ruffle some feathers.)
4) Pumpkinhead: Blood Feud (2007), written and directed by Michael Hurst
There is nothing good about this movie.
The first film doesn’t give us too much to go on about the town of Ferren Woods. In fact, I don’t think they even say the name of the town in the first film. You know what’s also not mentioned in the original? THAT THE HATFIELDS AND THE MCCOYS LIVE IN TOWN. Oh, and apparently Ferren Woods somehow completely revamped itself into an old-world Western town in the time between Pumpkinhead 2 and Pumpkinhead: Blood Feud. Instead of Pumpkinhead: Blood Feud they should have named this movie The Hatfields Vs The McCoys Vs Pumpkinhead.
Let’s set aside the fact that this film presumably takes place in 2007 and the two rival families are dressed like 1960s country folk. We can also set aside the fact that the Hatfields and the McCoys actually settled their dispute because of 9/11. Yeah that’s right, it took a national tragedy for these two families to realize their dumb squabble, which was started over questions of pig ownership, should be set to rest. I can look past all of the visual retconning of Ferren Woods, historical inaccuracy, and canon inaccuracy. What I can’t look past is the acting, the directing, the writing, and the (even for mid-aughts Sci-Fi) abhorrent digital effects.
By this point in my franchise viewing, I was fed up. At this point in the story, Pumpkinhead has been conjured four separate times. Everyone knows WHO is the one conjuring Pumpkinhead, but no one does anything about it. Have you ever heard of felony murder? Let’s say you take part in a robbery, but you’re just the getaway driver. Your crew kills someone in the botched robbery and you eventually get caught. Even if you were just the driver, in most states you can be charged with felony murder as your participation in the event ended up in someone’s death. Everyone in Ferren Woods knows that Haggis (Lynne Verrall) is the one who conjures Pumpkinhead by request. CHARGE HER WITH FELONY MURDER SO SHE CAN’T CONJURE PUMPKINHEAD EVER AGAIN. There, I solved your problem.
Pumpkinhead: Blood Feud is a boring, bland, cheap, and incredibly half-assed Pumpkinhead movie. Apparently, Lance Henricksen hates the third and fourth movies, which is fairly clear by his phoned-in performance. It doesn’t help that he’s green-screened into the final few scenes of this movie.
I’ve talked more about this movie than intended, but would be remiss not to discuss Pumpkinhead itself. We do get a few solid head bashes from Pumpkinhead, which is pretty much the extent of practical kills. What we do get is someone in a rubber suit tiptoeing around with little to no characterization. There is no heart put into this iteration of Pumpkinhead. Even existing as the Pumpkinhead movie with the highest body count, there is nothing redeemable about this entry.
3) Pumpkinhead (1988)
You can probably see why I said to not get mad at me. While the franchise may not have taken off as expected, many genre fans hold this film close to their heart. And for good reason! You have Lance Henricksen being, well, great. Special effects legend Stan Winston is behind the camera. Plus, Tom Woodruff Jr. dons the Pumpkinhead costume, which lets us know we’re in for a good time.
Pumpkinhead isn’t a bad movie. But it’s just… boring. The character motivations are lazy, the kills are lackluster, and it’s just all-around bland. Storywise, you’re telling me a group of miscreants kill your son and you don’t go to the police? We find out that Ferren Woods is a small town, and you have NO doubt that justice is ‘served out’ in a town like this. These kids would have been figuratively and literally nailed to a cross. Instead of going to the police, or trying to get medical care, you just give up? Son’s dead, time to go to the lady in the woods. Here comes Pumpkinhead!
Dumb. Absolutely dumb. There could have been so many ways to make it look like Ed Harley at least tries to get help for his kid. Cut to a hospital with a doctor saying, “There’s nothing we can do Ed. I’m sorry.” THERE YA GO.
Practically this film is the best in the franchise, but that’s not saying much as very little actually happens. The shots of Pumpkinhead are fantastic, and Tom Woodruff Jr.’s portrayal of Pumpkinhead is fantastic. You can feel the vengeance coursing through its blood. But besides the excellent creature design, the only other thing this film has going for it is the overall atmosphere. The woods of Ferren Woods lit by moonlight with howling gusts of winds give Pumpkinhead an overall gorgeous aesthetic. I find the only reason I have watched it as many times as I’ve had is due to how much I want to be in those woods with these exact wind and light conditions.
As an entry, and start, of the Pumpkinhead franchise, this one just doesn’t do it for me.
2) Pumpkinhead II: Blood Wings, written by Ivan Chachornia and Constantine Chachornia // directed by Jeff Burr
What to say about Pumpkinhead II. Well, if you were a fan of the first one, you’d probably hate this. And if you don’t like the first one, it makes sense that you’d like this. Six years after Pumpkinhead, this film came into existence and created a complete disregard for the canon built in the first movie.
Gone is Haggis, in is Miss Osie (Lilyan Chauvin). (Also gone is any attempt at making Haggis/Osie/the conjurer look decent in their SFX makeup.) The film opens in Ferren Woods in 1958. A group of local greasers come to torment Tommy (Jean-Paul Manoux), a deformed child who is a Pumpkinhead offspring. This tormenting, and literal assault, leads to the death of Tommy as he falls into a deep well. Thirty-five years later, Sean Braddock (Andrew Robinson) comes back as the town’s sheriff; the hopes of a quiet small-town cop life in his eyes. Unfortunately for Sheriff Braddock, Pumpkinhead is coming to town.
I applaud them for basically giving everyone the middle finger and making a completely different movie that just happens to have Pumpkinhead in it. It seems like if you’re a die-hard fan of the first film, this switch-up could be frustrating. Instead, I appreciated getting to see more about the town and learning about the people of Ferren Woods. Even if they’re… interesting. And hey, we get some diversity finally!
Full of split diopter shots (well, one scene that has about 10 of them), some great practical kills, a complete rework of Pumpkinhead lore, and Andrew Robinson, Pumpkinhead II: Blood Wings is what I want in the Pumpkinhead franchise. It’s not a moody, wooded melodrama about grief, it’s a bloody ’80s-emulation creature feature that just hits all the right marks.
1) Pumpkinhead: Ashes to Ashes, written by Barbara Werner and Jake West // directed by Jake West
Once again, please don’t hate me.
This Sci-Fi Original is whacky, dumb, funny, and bloody; it’s full of Dollar Store CGI, Doug Bradley, and Lance Henricksen! Having Ed Harley come back as a harbinger of Pumpkinhead is not only great fan service, but it just works. Even though Pumpkinhead: Blood Feud and Pumpkinhead: Ashes to Ashes were shot back to back, you can tell Henricksen gave the majority of shit during this performance.
Here’s the skinny. Doc (Doug Bradley) is the town doctor for Ferren Woods, he’s also the mortician. When word gets out that rather than cremating the townsfolk, he’s harvesting their organs, all hell breaks loose. Doc is being assisted by the Wallace family, who makes their return from the first film. Bunt Wallace is the one who takes Ed Harley to Haggis, and now he and his degenerate family are selling organs.
Now why is this one first? When I watch a creature feature, I want to have fun. This is the only Pumpkinhead movie that is remotely fun. The acting is Sci-Fi level, the dialogue is atrocious, and the visual style is completely on par of a mid-aughts Sci-Fi original. Everything about this movie is ridiculous, and I couldn’t stop laughing the entire time.
Pumpkinhead is CGI for the majority of its runtime, and watching it skitter up the side of a church made my stomach hurt from laughter. The practicals are awful, the CGI is awful, and I had an absolute blast. There is no way to justify this high of a ranking for Pumpkinhead: Ashes to Ashes, but it’s the only one I feel the true urge to go back and watch. Even if you’ve never seen a Pumpkinhead movie before, you should grab a six-pack and some friends to watch this with and just laugh. The world sucks, and we could all use a good laugh.
