Cult Cinema Saves The World
For whatever reason, perhaps a clash of personalities or lack of trust in their fellow workers, it seems as if you get on the wrong side of a superstar that has clout backstage within the WWE, then you’re going to hit Vince McMahon’s glass celling a lot faster than most.
It’s a pointless process, but one that has happened continuously throughout the years and, sadly, is still as prevalent today as it’s ever been.
The worst part about these burials is a lot of the times, they don’t make any sense.
They usually happen when Wrestler A feels as if Wrestler B is on the verge of taking their spot on the card. This means that they’ll do anything to protect the said spot, even if it’s the wrestling equivalent of cutting off the nose to spite the face.
What follows is a look, in your friendly neighborhood wrestling writer’s opinion, at 10 WWE Burials That Made Zero Sense.
Shawn Michaels Buries Vader
The Burial:
We all know by now that before he found God, Shawn Michaels was a grade-A asshole. There is no doubting between the ropes that there were very few wrestlers who could hold a candle to HBK, but backstage, well, the guy took the politicking made popular by Racist Hogan to a whole new level. If he, or The Kliq, didn’t like you then you were as good as done within the company and this is something Big Van Vader experienced first hand when he made his way into the fold. No-one really knows the reason why, but Shawn just didn’t like him. Maybe he hit too hard, maybe he didn’t play with the boys in the way they wanted, or maybe he was worried that Vader was going to go over, but whatever the reason HBK got out his shovel and buried Leon six-feet deep.
Why It Made Zero Sense:
Vader vs. HBK had money written all over it. The initial plan was to run a program between the two, starting at that year’s SummerSlam, with Vader winning the title, through Survivor Series, where HBK would win it back, and onto the Royal Rumble where they would’ve had the third match with HBK no doubt retaining, and who wouldn’t have wanted to see that? Vader was a monster who also just happened to be a great worker inside the squared-circle and if Michaels could’ve just sucked up a few stiff chops, they would’ve put on one of the best trilogies of matches to ever grace pro-wrestling.
The WWE Buries Ricochet
The Burial:
I have no idea what Ricochet has done to piss off the powers that be, but he is currently buried under so much bull-honkey that he’s going to start sprouting roses soon. Here is a guy that the company went out of their way to sign just over a year ago, announced with huge fanfare, and then 12 months later had jobbing out to Brock Lesnar in about 3 minutes flat. What the actual hell? And if you’re about to yell at me in the comments section that he’s not being punished for something or another, just remember, you can currently find him lighting it up on WWE Main Event.
Why It Made Zero Sense:
Well, that’s simple, he’s Ricochet for god sake. Here is a wrestler who has put on some of the greatest matches the Independent Scene has ever, er, seen, but has been so badly mishandled since he signed for the WWE that he probably regrets giving up 5-Star matches with Will Osperay to go head to head with Eric Young. Ricochet is an amazing wrestler and if the company, or more specifically Vince McMahon, had an ounce of sense about them then he’d be being pushed to the moon, but sadly while the likes of Lesnar and Goldberg are still about, or Vinny still gets off on the likes of Brawn Strowman, he’s doomed to be just another “indy guy” in the companies eyes.
The WWE Buries Brodus Clay
The Burial:
For weeks, the WWE had been pushing the fact that Brodus Clay was coming, and he was going to destroy all of us. He was a monster, he was a heel, he was pain incarnate, and then he debuted as a dancing fricking dinosaur.
Why It Made Zero Sense:
Ignoring the fact that what we got wasn’t what we were promised, by a long shot, it seems the reason that it happened was that Brodus gave away his new gimmick before the company was ready to. But so what? Who cares? Kayfabe’s deader than flares and the idea of Clay running roughshod over the entire locker room was one that would’ve had fans champing at the bit to tune into RAW and SmackDown each week. But as we know, nothing makes sense within the walls of Titan Towers, so instead of the all-conquering heel, we ended up with a dancing frickin dinosaur.
John Cena Buries Bray Wyatt
The Burial:
A charismatic cult leader with occult tendencies and an intriguing backstory, when Bray Wyatt, and the rest of the Wyatt Family, first debuted on WWE TV it seemed as if the wrestling world was their oyster. He was fascinating, he was brilliant in the ring, and then he was jobbed out to Big Match John at Wrestlemania 30 and then to The Undertaker the following year.
Why It Made Zero Sense:
If Cena had done the right thing and taken the pin at Wrestlemania 30, Wyatt would’ve been catapulted into the stratosphere and it was just what the company needed at the time. This should’ve been the changing the guard, with D-Bry winning against all odds here having Bray follow suit would’ve been like printing cash. They could’ve even had Wyatt and Cena feud all the way through to the show next year, but instead, we had Bray losing to The Undertaker in one of the most underwhelming matches of all time. Ah well, at least we eventually got The Fiend character out of it.
The WWE Buries Bray Wyatt
The Burial:
Shout at me all you want, but there is no way, no way, that you can convince me having the hottest ticket in the company lose to Bill Sodding Goldberg in around 4 minutes wasn’t a complete and utter burial. And for what? Saudi blood money. It’s killed Wyatt’s momentum dead, this once un-defeatable beast sacrificed for a part-timer means he no longer has that aura of greatness about him, and it’s also the reason I no longer watch the WWE.
Why It Made Zero Sense:
For every reason that I just listed. I have it on good authority that you could tell Wyatt wasn’t onboard with the whole situation as he “sandbagged” Goldberg when he went up for the Jackhammer, and taking the title off of him when he was heading into his redemption feud with John Cena was just idiotic. The Fiend walking out of Wrestlemania still WWE Champion would’ve been the icing on the cake, but I guess he’ll just have to be satisfied with Cena putting him over. Which he’s going to do, right?
John Cena Buries The Nexus
The Burial:
They were the hottest ticket in town. The Shield before The Shield was a thing and they were tearing through the entire WWE roster. They were the faction and were nailed on to be the dominant force inside the company for the next 10 years. Then Big Match John got involved, took a DDT onto a concrete floor at SummerSlam, eliminated Gabriel and Barrett, and The Nexus was no longer seen as a threat, just a joke.
Why It Made Zero Sense:
If both Edge and Chris Jericho are telling you that going over The Nexus is a bad idea, then you’d take it that it was a bad idea. Unless you’re John Cena of course. Having The Nexus win at SummerSlam would’ve established them as one of the best crews in town and would’ve helped them go on to greater heights, perhaps becoming one of the greatest groups to ever grace wrestling. Instead, Big Match John got his way, again, and The Nexus are now nothing more than a cautionary tale of what might’ve been.
The WWE Buries Asuka
The Burial:
Having dominated the NXT Women’s Divison unlike anyone before or after her, The Empress Of Tomorrow was moved up to the main roster. Here she carried on her undefeated streak, setting up a dream match at Wrestlemania 34 against The Queen herself, Charlotte Flair, for her to only, and inexplicably, come up short in the biggest match of her career.
Why It Made Zero Sense:
Instead of Asuka getting the rub from beating the WWE golden girl, they decided to go the other way with it and have Flair end Asuka’s unbeaten run in one of the more mind-blowingly stupid moments from the companies history. No-one really knows why, but I’ve long held the belief that the WWE, more specifically Vince McMahon, not only has no faith in their Asian performers but has no idea how to handle them properly. Asuka should’ve been the face of the company, but instead, she’s become another almost ran.
The WWE Buries Mickie James
The Burial:
Michelle McCool and Layla set up a feud with Mickie James in 2009 by calling her Piggy James and photoshopping her head onto that of actual pigs, as you can see above. This was allegedly done to put together an anti-bullying storyline, though that’s a load of horse-s*it and it was probably done because for some unbeknownst reason the company thought she had gained weight. I doubt it helped that her relationship with Big Match John was coming to an end either.
Why It Made Zero Sense
Tell me, does that look like a woman who had gained weight? No, it bloody doesn’t and even if she had, it shouldn’t have made a difference. This was just a case of WWE being mean for the sake of being mean. After all, Vince McMahon will do everything he can to protect one of the boys.
The WWE Buries Lita
The Burial:
Having giving her all to the WWE and being part of a two women revolution, alongside her good friend Trish Stratus, Lita had decided that she was done with wrestling and decided to bow out in 2006. Going out on her shield, she dropped the title to Mickie James, but instead of allowing her to just leave the ring with her dignity, the WWE had other ideas. Out came that legendary tag-team Cryme Time to start selling off some of Lita’s items that they’d “borrowed” and it was hilarious. Especially the part where they showed that she had to use vaginal products, God I laughed…
Why it Made No Sense:
Lita is one of the greatest wrestlers, male or female, to ever work for the WWE and the way they chose to bury her entire career in one segment, just because she had the nerve to walk away, was disgusting. There was nothing funny about this, it was horrible to see the company completely disrespect a person who had been responsible for more than a few thousand fans tuning into the show each week and who had helped set the bar incredibly high for what we came to expect women’s wrestling to be.
Everyone Buries Zack Ryder
The Burial:
Zack Ryder was tired of being underutilized within the WWE so he set himself up as the Internet Champion and people went crazy for it. Normally the company hates it when a superstar breaks out on their own, but with all the goodwill and all-round fun surrounding Long Island Iced-Z, it looked as if he was going to get his wish after all. He started to get screen time, but unfortunately, he was the third wheel in a storyline between John Cena (again!) and Eve Torres that would end with Kane attempting to murder him at every opportunity.
Why it Made Zero Sense:
For no other reason than this is proof that Vince McMahon’s brass rings are, as CM Punk once said, imaginary. Ryder did everything his boss continually bangs on about. He got himself out there, he put himself into the public eye, he got over, but because Vince didn’t want him to get over, he was punished instead of praised, shot down instead of lifted up, and should be a warning for anyone thinking of signing with the WWE. Don’t rock the boat or Big Vinny will get you.
