Stuart Monroe
Ah, WrestleMania 32…WWE’s record-breaking marquee show. With a reported 101,763 in attendance and a massive 17.3 million dollar gross, it’s often touted as the most successful ‘Mania of all time. And it may very well be (on paper), but take it from someone who was in attendance that night—the show was not all it was cracked up to be.
2016 was an odd time for WWE. Fans were burnt out on WWE being the only game in town. Vince’s penchant for cramming his favorites (i.e. Roman Reigns) down everyone’s throats was at an all-time high. The Authority storyline was wearing thin. The show itself is widely considered to be a critical failure (or at the very least a mixed bag). The attendance record is disputed to this day, with even Vince McMahon himself admitting that not all the 101,763 fans were paid ticket holders; an independent report from Wrestling Observer Newsletter reported that about 84,000 tickets were sold.
Add to that a staggering number of injuries to top-tier stars (John Cena, Randy Orton, Seth Rollins, Luke Harper, and Cesaro amongst others), and the result is a hodge-podge card relying on last-minute feuds and appearances from part-timers and legends. Still, it’s WrestleMania and whether you call it the “Granddaddy of Them All” or “The Showcase of the Immortals”, it’s still the biggest show of the year by any measure.
I certainly didn’t mind shelling out $275 per ticket to take my wife and daughter to our second WrestleMania (it was the kid’s first as she wasn’t born yet back in 2001). It’s Wrestle-freakin’-Mania, so let’s dig in, shall we?
7-Man Ladder Match: Intercontinental Champion Kevin Owen vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. The Miz vs. Sami Zayn vs. Stardust vs. Sin Cara vs. Zach Ryder
Any wrestler will tell you that if you’re not going on last in the main event, then you want to be going on first. The crowd is at its hottest, and they all want to see some carnage—perfect place for an Intercontinental Championship Ladder Match. These are six of the best workers on the roster at that time (plus the misfire that was Sin Cara), and this match showcases all that they have to offer.
There are a metric f*@kton of killer high spots in this match; Zayn diving through the ladder onto the mass outside on the floor; Sin Cara’s reflexive springboard 360 off the falling ladder; Owens brutally frog-splashing Zayn while he’s laid out on the ladder; Ryder’s HBK-esque elbow off the top of the big ladder to Miz; Sin Cara’s ladder-bridge-breaking crossbody to Stardust, and Stardust’s use of the polka dot ladder (HUGE crowd pop for that one) are just a few of the “holy shit” moments mixed in with plenty of solid, grounded, ladder-as-weapon violence. All in all, it’s one of the best multi-man ladder matches ever to not feature a briefcase above it.
In the end, though, it’s Miz who nearly gets away with stealing the whole thing before being taken out by “The Original Broski” (and current “Indie God”) Zach Ryder (a.k.a. Matt Cardona) for the victory. The crowd really popped for this result, and Ryder had a great moment with his father in the ring as well. A damn solid way to start the show.
Winner (And New Intercontinental Champion): Zach Ryder
Chris Jericho vs. AJ Styles
A historic match, in that it’s the first WrestleMania match for The Phenomenal One. Chris Jericho is the perfect opponent for Styles in this match, showing why he is the measuring stick at this point in his career.
They spend the first five minutes of the match in a game of one-up mat wrestling that results in a classic Jericho tantrum at ringside out of sheer frustration. Jericho takes a grounding control for a few minutes before AJ does the kip-up and starts his comeback, leading to some furious submission trading between the two. The pacing is fast without feeling rushed, and the match is a plethora of creative counters and false finishes.
Styles has a lot to prove in his first ‘Mania match, and they really couldn’t have paired him with a better opponent to make him look like a million bucks. It’s one of those matches that felt longer than its seventeen-minute runtime in the best way possible. In the end, Jericho’s picture-perfect Codebreaker to counter the Phenomenal Forearm sealed the deal for the 3-count.
Winner: Chris Jericho
In a backstage interview, WWE special correspondent Maria Menounos interviews Zach Ryder about his big IC Title win. He talks about having seen Razor Ramon win that title at WrestleMania X and taking a picture with him afterwards…now he’s going to get a picture with Scott Hall and his Intercontinental Championship. Good stuff.
Six-Man Tag Team Match: The League of Nations (Alberto Del Rio, Rusev, and Sheamus w/ King Barrett) vs. The New Day (Kofi Kingston, Xavier Woods, and Big E)
While not exactly a comic relief match, this is one of those matches that didn’t have a ton of build or any real story heading into the year’s biggest show and featured some inspired goofiness both during the match and after. For instance, The New Day makes their entrance from inside a giant box of Booty-O’s cereal.
Yes, you read that right.
In the early going, it’s all League of Nations as the heels lay a vicious beatdown including a hilarious Ten Beats of the Bowery from Sheamus to Xavier set to the cadence and chant of “New…Day Sucks!! New…Day Sucks!!” Control goes back and forth after that, but it’s all classic isolation tag team wrestling with plenty of taking out of the other partners on the apron to prevent the tag. In a high spot, Big E nearly breaks his damn neck performing a triple spear through the ropes and to the floor outside. It’s a scary moment.
Ultimately, it’s some outside interference from King Barrett and a Bullhammer Elbow that lead to the 3-count for the heel team.
Winners: The League of Nations
After the match, the League of Nations takes the microphone to gloat over their victory and proclaim that “there isn’t a group of three men back there that can beat us!” Well, you know that you can’t say something like that and get away with it, especially at WrestleMania.
The music hits for “The Heartbreak Kid” Shawn Michaels and the crowd explodes; the retired Hall of Famer is in wrestling gear! Then the music hits for retired hardcore legend, Mick Foley, and the crowd weeps tears of joy (at least I know my kid did). Finally, the glass breaks and everyone in the place completely loses their collective minds as “Stone Cold” Steve Austin walks his badass walk to the ring with his new friends in tow. I’m here to tell you that I’ve been to some amazing shows in my life, but I’ve never heard that loud of a sustained roar ever. It was truly deafening.
Of course, the League of Nations is no match for the Hall of Fame trio in the ensuing beatdown, and we are all treated to some Mandible Claws, Sweet Chin Musics, and a Stone Cold Stunner or three. Even the New Day’s Xavier Woods eats a Stunner after talking Stone Cold into a brief dance session. It’s pure fan service and one of the things you love WrestleMania for.
No Holds Barred Street Fight: Brock Lesnar vs. Dean Ambrose
This is perhaps the most infamous match of the evening and one that Dean Ambrose (a.k.a. Jon Moxley) has no fond memories of. The build was excellent, and it should by all rights have been a great match—Ambrose is the modern-day Mick Foley, and Brock is, well, the Beast. On paper it all made sense. However, Brock apparently didn’t want to put in the work to make it what Dean saw it as, with Ambrose going so far as to call Brock and his preparation “lazy”. And it showed in the ring.
The match is essentially a host of German Suplexes and Brock no-selling a couple of dozen kendo stick shots before finishing off Ambrose with a single F5 onto a pile of chairs. Lame! And all this after a build where legends like Mick Foley himself and the late, great Terry Funk appeared on previous weeks’ Raws to present Ambrose with special weapons to use against the unstoppable beast that is Lesnar. You know, the less said about this match the better. I can tell you that everyone in attendance was gape-mouthed after the match shouting, “That’s it?!”
Winner: Brock Lesnar
Triple Threat Match for the Inaugural WWE Women’s Championship: Sasha Banks vs. Becky Lynch vs. Charlotte (WWE Divas Champion)
Earlier in the evening on the pre-show, WWE Hall of Famer Lita appeared to announce the retirement of the Divas Championship (a.k.a. “The Butterfly Belt”) to the joy of those in attendance. She introduced the new WWE Women’s Championship (later to become the Raw Women’s Championship after the brand split). The Women’s Revolution is in full swing, and these three women were the face of that revolution (this was before Bayley was called up from NXT).
Sasha Banks has her entrance performed by her cousin (and newly minted WWE Hall of Famer) Snoop Dogg, and Charlotte is accompanied by her legendary father, “Nature Boy” Ric Flair. The match opens with classic triple threat work- feeling out jabs, quick pin combos, and odd temporary pairings with no one woman holding a clear advantage. This goes on for a few minutes before Sasha is rudely tossed to the floor in a nasty spill by Becky.
It becomes a submission fest, complete with a wonderful spot where Sasha frog-splashes the intertwined legs of Becky and Charlotte amid a Figure Four Leg Lock. Soon they’re outside the ring after a nearly disastrous suicide dive by Sasha where her damn life is saved by Charlotte, and it’s time for Charlotte to get a little crazy and do that gorgeous top-rope Moonsault to the floor!
More furious submission exchanges back inside the ring lead to Sasha being stuck in the proverbial Tree of Woe and Charlotte eating a nasty top-rope Bexploder Suplex. Sasha later counters Becky’s attempted suplex with a beautiful counter into the Bank Statement, but it’s halted by Charlotte, who tosses Sasha to the outside and locks in Figure Eight on Becky while “the Dirtiest Player in the Game” assists by holding Sasha back. Becky taps!
Winner (And New WWE Women’s Champion): Charlotte Flair
Hell in a Cell Match: The Undertaker vs. Shane McMahon
It’s time for the big-sell match, a marquee money-maker that (let’s face it) existed for one purpose: to see Shane McMahon’s crazy ass go flying off the top of that cell. That’s not said to take the piss out of Undertaker or Shane’s performances, but as soon as Shane vs. Taker in a Cell was announced, that was the thought at the front of everyone’s minds.
With that being said, this thirty-minute slugfest is a better Hell in a Cell than I remembered (I’d put it on the bottom end of the Top 10, for sure). The stipulation here was that if Shane won the match, then he’d take control of Monday Night Raw and Undertaker would be done at WrestleMania. Shane takes all manner of abuse in this match: Last Ride, Chokeslam onto the steel steps, Spinebuster onto the Spanish announce table and about two dozen meaty right hands. Shane even gets in his Coast to Coast (always a crowd-pleaser).
Still, it’s all about the mother of all high spots, isn’t it? Once Shane took the bolt cutter to the cage, the crowd started to swell. When Undertaker put Shane through the fence and busted it open, the roar started to build. Once Shane took control (with the aid of a full toolbox) and laid the Dead Man out on the table, the crowd rose. Then Shane climbed, and the sense of anticipation in that building became palpable. And it was a glorious flight, a moment that is burned into my brain forever having seen it live. Shane lands about as well as anyone could land on a table after a legit twenty-foot fall, and it’s academic from there, with Shane begging for more until he couldn’t take any more.
Winner: The Undertaker
Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal
I don’t mean to sound cynical here, but if you’ve seen one Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal, then you’ve seen them all. It’s a match intended to highlight someone who’s up and coming while giving some old-timers a moment in the sun and letting the mid-carders get their WrestleMania moment, so to speak. Everyone entered en masse except for Mark Henry, Kane, Diamond Dallas Page, Big Show, and Shaquille O’Neal (love those celebrities).
Needless to say, everyone goes after the true giants in the match, and it isn’t long before they’re eliminated by everyone in the match in a group effort. Afterwards, DDP and Tatanka get to eliminate someone before being tossed. Mary Henry and Kane do the heavy lifting for the remainder before NXT upstart “The Lone Wolf” Baron Corbin (still sporting that long, greasy hair) sneaks up to eliminate Kane for the win and the cool trophy.
Winner: Baron Corbin
Barely giving the crowd a chance to catch their breath, the next thing you hear is “IF YA’ SMELLLLLL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKIN’!!”, and the place goes nuclear. The “People’s Champ” is at WrestleMania! Rock hits the ring and takes a microphone to hype up the crowd, making jokes about how there’s going to be a bunch of WrestleMania babies being made tonight and (of course) giving us the “FINALLY!” schtick. He announces the attendance for the event but doesn’t get much further than that before he’s interrupted by The Wyatt Family. And, oh, how it breaks your heart to see Bray Wyatt now knowing that we’ll never again get to experience that man’s work. AT&T Stadium is a sea of fireflies, and it is a beautiful thing. This ultimately leads to an impromptu match between The Rock and Erick Rowan.
The Rock vs. Erick Rowan (w/ Bray Wyatt and Braun Strowman)
The bell rings and Rock immediately hits Rowan with the Rock Bottom. It’s the quickest victory in WrestleMania history! 1, 2, 3!
Winner: The Rock
The Wyatt Family is none too happy with the result, and they circle the ring in preparation for a serious beatdown on “The Great One”. Then the horns blow and the crowd is nearly delirious—the champ is here! John Cena runs in to make the save, and the former opponents stand side by side in a heartwarming moment that could only happen at WrestleMania! After taking an A.A., Five Knuckle Shuffle, and a People’s Elbow, the Wyatt Family slinks away and everyone is happy.
WWE World Heavyweight Champion Triple H vs. Roman Reigns
It’s time for the main event of the evening, and already the crowd isn’t happy about it. For what it’s worth, Triple H makes what is perhaps his grandest entrance ever, a full authoritarian spectacle complete with dozens of masked followers, a scantily clad Stephanie McMahon in leather gear, and a cool video package. The boos as Roman Reigns makes his standard entrance are the only thing in the night that could rival the deafening roar of the arrival of “Stone Cold” Steve Austin; you couldn’t hear yourself think in the rain of those boos.
This match was critically reviled for a reason—at 34 minutes, it’s entirely too long for even a ring general like Triple H to carry. In the reversal of babyface and heel expectations, everything done by Triple H (the Authority heel) is met with raucous cheers and every move of Roman’s is met with lusty boos. It’s surreal how much the crowd doesn’t want Roman to win this, but that is exactly what happens. And this isn’t the Tribal Chief here…this is still baby Roman, and his often bewildered expression tells the tale.
Winner (And New WWE World Heavyweight Champion): Roman Reigns
Final Thoughts
I’ve been to a pair of WrestleManias now (X7 and 32), and it’s unfair to compare the two. The former is THE WrestleMania by which all others are judged, and the latter is a bit of a stinker. Still, no WrestleMania is a complete stinker, and WrestleMania 32 was saved by a first-rate ladder match, a classic between Y2J and AJ Styles, a historically awesome women’s match, and a better-than-remembered Hell in a Cell with a truly nutty high spot. I could go the rest of my life and never watch Ambrose vs. Lesnar or Triple H vs. Reigns ever again. There is, however, some historical significance in noting how poorly the first iteration of Roman Reigns as “the guy” went over; it’s a bizarre crowd reaction to be sure.
They don’t call it a transitional period for nothing, folks.
